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Helping a Child Through Grief and Loss

Updated November 7, 2026

Children grieve, even very young ones, but they often grieve differently from adults. Their grief may come in short bursts, show up in play or behavior, and return at new stages of life.

How understanding changes with age

• Toddlers and preschoolers may not understand that death is permanent and may ask when the person is coming back. They notice changes in routine and the emotions of the adults around them.
• School-age children gradually understand that death is final and happens to everyone. They may have many concrete questions, and may worry about who else might die.
• Teenagers understand death as adults do, but may hide their feelings, turn to friends rather than family, or take risks.

Common reactions

Grieving children may be sad, angry, anxious or numb. They may play happily one minute and cry the next. Sleep problems, clinginess, stomachaches, trouble concentrating, acting younger than their age, and worry about their own or a parent's health are all common. These reactions usually ease over time with support.

Talking about death

• Use clear, simple words. Say "died" rather than "went to sleep" or "we lost him", which can confuse or frighten young children.
• Tell the truth at a level your child can understand, and answer questions honestly, even if the answer is "I don't know".
• Expect repeated questions. Children often process loss by asking the same things many times.
• Share your own feelings. It is all right for children to see you sad. It shows them that grief is normal.
• Reassure them that they did not cause the death and that they will be cared for.

Funerals and remembering

Many children benefit from being included in funerals or memorials if they want to be, with an adult to explain what will happen and to stay with them. Drawing, writing a letter, planting something, or making a memory box can help children express feelings and keep a connection to the person who died.

Keeping routines

Familiar routines for school, meals and bedtime help children feel safe. Let teachers know about the loss so they can offer support and understand changes in behavior.

When to seek help

Consider talking with a pediatrician or a grief counselor if, after several months, your child is still unable to function at school or at home, withdraws from friends, has ongoing sleep or eating problems, talks about wanting to join the person who died, or if the death was sudden, violent or traumatic. Many communities have children's grief support groups.

Sources and further reading

• American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org
• National Child Traumatic Stress Network
• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Facts for Families

Related guides

• Helping Children After a Traumatic EventHow children may react to frightening events such as accidents, violence or disasters, how parents can help them feel safe, and signs they need treatment.
• How to Talk With Your Child About FeelingsPractical ways to help children name and manage emotions, listen so they keep talking, and handle difficult conversations at each age.
• Depression in Children and TeenagersHow depression looks different in children and teens, warning signs parents can notice, how it is treated, and how to support a child at home.

This guide is general information, not medical or psychological advice. For questions about your child, talk with a pediatrician or a licensed mental health professional. In a crisis in the US, call or text 988 or call 911; elsewhere, call your local emergency number.