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Self-Harm and Suicide: Warning Signs and What to Do

Updated November 7, 2026

Talking about self-harm and suicide is frightening for parents, but knowing the warning signs and what to do can save a life. If you think your child is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number now.

Get help now

In the United States, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, or chat at 988lifeline.org. You can call for yourself or because you are worried about your child. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. Outside the US, call your local emergency number.

Warning signs of suicide

• Talking or writing about wanting to die, being a burden, or having no reason to live
• Looking for ways to harm themselves, such as searching online or seeking pills or weapons
• Giving away possessions or saying goodbye
• Withdrawing from friends, family and activities
• Extreme mood swings, or sudden calm after a period of depression
• Increased use of alcohol or drugs
• Reckless behavior
• Sleeping too much or too little

Signs of self-harm

Self-harm, such as cutting, scratching or burning, is often a way of coping with overwhelming feelings. It is not always linked to suicidal intent, but it is a sign of serious distress and should always be taken seriously. Signs include unexplained cuts, burns or bruises, wearing long sleeves in warm weather, keeping sharp objects, and spending long periods alone in the bathroom or bedroom.

How to ask

If you are worried, ask directly and calmly: "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" or "Have you been hurting yourself?" Research indicates that asking does not put the idea in a young person's head; it can be a relief for them to be asked.

• Listen without judging, lecturing or panicking.
• Thank them for telling you, and say you will help them get support.
• Do not promise to keep it secret.
• Do not leave a child alone if you think they are at immediate risk.

Make the home safer

Reducing access to lethal means is one of the most effective steps families can take:

• Store firearms locked and unloaded, with ammunition locked separately, or keep them out of the home during a crisis.
• Lock up prescription and over-the-counter medications, and dispose of ones you no longer need.
• Lock up alcohol.

Next steps

Contact your child's doctor or a mental health professional for an urgent assessment. Ask about making a safety plan: a written list of warning signs, coping strategies, people to contact and crisis numbers that your child can use. Therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy for adolescents and cognitive behavioral approaches are designed for young people with self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Stay involved, keep talking, and look after your own support as well.

Sources and further reading

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
• National Institute of Mental Health
• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Facts for Families

Related guides

• Depression in Children and TeenagersHow depression looks different in children and teens, warning signs parents can notice, how it is treated, and how to support a child at home.
• Types of Therapy for Children and TeensA plain-language overview of common therapy approaches for children: CBT, play therapy, PCIT, family therapy, DBT, trauma-focused CBT and more.
• How to Choose a Child TherapistThe kinds of professionals who treat children, how to find one, questions to ask, what the first appointment is like, and how to tell if therapy is working.

This guide is general information, not medical or psychological advice. For questions about your child, talk with a pediatrician or a licensed mental health professional. In a crisis in the US, call or text 988 or call 911; elsewhere, call your local emergency number.