Caring for a child, especially one who is struggling, can be exhausting. Looking after your own health is not selfish. Children are affected by their parents' stress, and a supported parent is better able to support a child.
Why it matters
Children notice their parents' moods and often mirror how adults cope. Parents who are depleted may find it harder to stay patient, keep routines and respond calmly to difficult behavior. Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your family.
Signs of parental burnout
Feeling exhausted most of the time, even after rest
Feeling emotionally distant from your children, or going through the motions
Irritability and losing your temper more than usual
Feeling that you are failing as a parent
Trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, or frequent illness
Practical steps
Protect the basics: sleep, regular meals and some physical activity, even a short walk.
Take small breaks. Ten minutes alone, a cup of tea or a phone call with a friend can help reset.
Share the load. Ask a partner, relative, friend or neighbor for specific help, such as a school pickup or an evening off.
Lower the bar on non-essentials. A tidy house matters less than a calm one.
Connect with other parents, including support groups for families of children with similar challenges.
Repair after hard moments. Every parent loses their temper sometimes. Apologizing and reconnecting teaches children how relationships recover.
Limit unhelpful comparisons, including on social media.
When a child is in treatment
Parents of children with mental health conditions often carry extra stress: appointments, school meetings, worry and sometimes judgment from others. Ask your child's therapist about parent support, parent training or family sessions. Many programs for children's anxiety and behavior problems work best when parents are coached directly.
When to get help for yourself
If you feel persistently sad, anxious, hopeless or overwhelmed, have trouble functioning, or think about harming yourself, talk to your own doctor or a mental health professional. Postpartum depression and anxiety are common after having a baby and are treatable. In a crisis in the US, call or text 988. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number.
Helping Children Cope With Separation or DivorceHow to tell children about a separation, common reactions by age, how to co-parent in ways that protect children, and when to consider counseling.
Tantrums and Meltdowns: A Guide for ParentsWhy young children have tantrums, how to respond in the moment, how to prevent them, and when frequent outbursts are worth discussing with a doctor.
Family Therapy: What to ExpectWhat family therapy is, when it can help, who attends, what happens in sessions, and how to prepare your family for the first appointment.
This guide is general information, not medical or psychological advice. For questions about your child, talk with a pediatrician or a licensed mental health professional. In a crisis in the US, call or text 988 or call 911; elsewhere, call your local emergency number.