School Refusal: When a Child Will Not Go to School
Updated November 7, 2026
School refusal is when a child regularly becomes very distressed about going to school and often stays home as a result. It is different from truancy: the child usually wants their parents to know, and often feels unwell or panicky in the morning.
What it can look like
Stomachaches, headaches or nausea on school mornings that improve once the child is allowed to stay home
Crying, pleading or tantrums before school
Frequent visits to the school nurse, or calls home asking to be picked up
Symptoms that are worse on Sunday evenings or after holidays
Common reasons
School refusal is usually a sign of something else. Common causes include separation anxiety, social anxiety, worries about schoolwork or tests, bullying, a difficult relationship with a teacher, depression, learning difficulties, or a recent change such as a move, a new school or family stress. Sometimes a child avoids school because the things they get to do at home, such as screens, are more rewarding.
Why returning soon matters
Staying home brings immediate relief, which makes going back harder the next day. The longer a child is out of school, the more schoolwork and social distance build up. Most professionals advise a gradual but prompt return, with support, rather than waiting until the child feels ready.
What parents can do
Rule out illness with a visit to the pediatrician, then agree on clear guidelines for when your child truly stays home.
Talk to your child calmly to find out what feels hard about school.
Work with the school. Meet the teacher, counselor or psychologist to make a plan. This might include a gradual return, a safe person or place at school, or adjustments to the timetable.
Keep mornings predictable, with the same routine each day and calm, brief goodbyes.
Make home days boring. If your child stays home, keep screens and treats off and schoolwork on during school hours.
Praise every step, such as getting dressed, getting in the car or staying an extra hour.
Getting professional help
If your child has missed several days, or the problem keeps returning, ask for help early. Cognitive behavioral therapy that includes gradual exposure to school, with parents and school staff involved, is a common and well-supported approach. A professional can also look for anxiety, depression or learning problems that need their own treatment. See anxiety in children.
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This guide is general information, not medical or psychological advice. For questions about your child, talk with a pediatrician or a licensed mental health professional. In a crisis in the US, call or text 988 or call 911; elsewhere, call your local emergency number.